Monster Under the Bed
by twilightslittleangel
Summary: A diary entry stolen from Fiyero's diary on the fateful day that he got a monster under his bed. If only he knew where Elphaba was to get rid of it...


yeah, this is my story. this is kind of s tupid and let me tell you, this is so totally probable. let it be know all you heathens; fiyeraba rules. of course, you can only see it if you bang yourseslf with an onion over the head really hard for acouple of times. yeah, ive been there. so i rated this t. there are reasons. wrote most of it at SOAR in my free time hiding from voldemort the evil guider and the sun, which is also credited for the blame if this funny acne on my elbows dont go away here pretty soon. looks like i am in a small idea plot hole and still planning my new then, read and review this please? i like being loved. not in that way you creeps!

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><p>You would never believe what happened today. It happened yesterday, sure, but it was the strangest thing in the world and totally was awesome. I was taking my beauty nap yesterday at like ten, so that I could be prepared for this big party Galinda was going to persuade Elphaba to go to and partially dress up, and so if you asked to tell you if I was excited or not, I would say I was most definitely excited. Taking this nap would enable me to stay up all night long, drown my worries in strong alcohol and then continue stalking girls. Oh the life of a prince.<p>

During this nap, as it was on a free Saturday, I hear a few very loud thumps, my door open and slam closed, and then something slid under my bed. I was startled to be quite honest, as not many times a day someone or thing slides under my bed. I had given up on doing that I ever since- well, you know. So very carefully, I lifted my bed skirt and under my bed there was a monster.

Now this monster wasn't just any monster, because the only things I saw were two eyes and some teeth. Starting to panic I jumped off of the bed and went to go stand outside of my dorm. I knew just who to call on to remove the monster under my bed. My newfound friend Elphaba. Running down the corridors, I was heading for the front door of the boys dorm. Once I got out of the building I was stopped by none other than the Madame Morrible, the one and the only.

To begin with, she resembles a fish, and when it's that time of month she is totally crabby. I felt bad for Galinda and Elphaba, who are in her sorcery class, but then realized with Elphaba being a teacher's pet and all, Morrible must have controlled her mood swings.

"Fiyero, why are you in such a hurry?" she said, creepily cornering me into the glass doors of the boys' dorm. She got really close to my face as well, which was kind of freaky.

"You see, M-Madame, there is a monster under my bed and I want to find Elphaba to scare away the monster." Morrible just got closer and closer.

"Come here darling, and let it be known, I can scare out that monster just as well as Miss Thropp can." Now I was freaked out.

Being the hottest boy in Shiz is really hard, but if your teacher who is very much older than you, and is female, is hitting on you, it's time to tune down the flirting. Being so close to a teacher who used double meanings on certain sentences that made them sound like something only a grade eight boy would say was something to be afraid of. Nothing normal for me of course. Being the womanizer for quite some time, catching onto what she said was easy, but digesting the meaning wasn't. The first thought that ran through my head all day was '_Ewww'_.

I stood there for a while, planning my escape, and I did do just that very swiftly, hoping that Morrible wasn't too good at running. Fiyero Tiggular, the Winkie Prince, had just escaped the narrow clutches of Morrible the horrible and creep cougar. How very exciting. Needless to say, I continued on my journey, knowing that if I hadn't finished my quest soon I would be stuck with no nap and not enough time to collect blackmail on Elphaba.

Eventually I reached the doors of the girls` dormitories, which so happened to be placed on the other side of campus for some strange reason. Should I actually know the reason? Probably. Do I know the reason? No. like I was saying, I was just outside of the dorms, holding the door open and I heard some very suspicious sounds. First, it was Boq screaming and Nessa cackling, though she wasn't as good at that as her sister was. Nessa's cackles sounded like a cat being choked to death by a moose. Then I heard a Galinda giggle and I could have sworn she was preparing to get ready for the party tonight. Cautiously I walked in only to be passed by a running and screaming Boq. This could only mean trouble.

"Nothing will ever stop me from loving you Boq! Oh, hello Fiyero." Nessa said, her face switching from creepy stalker to innocent bystander with a wave of her hand and a completely fake smile.

"Hi Nessa. Do you know where Elphaba is?" Nessarose stopped fake smiling and gave me a glare.

"Why should I, Elphaba's sister, know where in Oz she might be? Though I did see her come fleeing from Galinda's dorm. That's all I will tell you, but I know the most probable place she would be hiding right now if you bring me back Boq, unconscious of course." She stopped glaring and with a flick of her wrist, I started my way back across campus. During the run, I contemplated whether I was more scared of Morrible or of Nessa.

"No way." I groaned as I realized that I had to go back into my room and get Boq out of my closet. He always hid in there, and Nessa never caught on, she just looked in his closet, under his bed, and then left. Mustering up the remainder of my courage, I went into my room and very quickly skidded over to my closet. As I opened the door to it, I heard a scream and a few muffled mutters. Boq was in my closet all right.

Boq was in my closet wearing nothing but his boxers. I used to be in that positioned but I stopped stalking girls most of the time because of Elph- I meant nothing. It just didn't sound as appealing to me anymore after I realized the one girl I wanted I kind of couldn't have. Between you and me, dear diary, I have a little crush on someone, whose name will not appear ever in this book (though it has) even though I am still physically dating Galinda.

Turns out that Nessa was feeling particularly wicked today and banished all of Boq's clothing, all the way back to the dorms and he had nothing else to wear. So after lending some of my clothing, he asked me why I was here and not in my bed napping like I usually was on Saturdays.

"You see, Boq, I was napping when a monster decided to come under my bed, and then I knew that I needed to find Elphaba to get rid of it. Then I went to Galinda's dorm, but on the way was stopped by Morrible the horrible, and she started flirting with me. After that I stopped and asked Nessa if she knew where her sister was. She said that she would tell me the most probable place if I brought you back to her unconscious." Boq whimpered.

"Please don't make me go back to that madly deranged horrible excuse for a person. She scares me." Boq then ran over to his bedside, took a pen and a notebook out and went to hide back in my closest, probably writing a death note. "So you know, I was there when Elphaba escaped the evil clutches of Galinda. Right now she should be hiding in this general direction. But since I don't know, I think that you should go and see Galinda." Also came from the closet.

"Thank you captain obvious. Now if you don't have anything more to add, I have to go and find Elphie." With that I ran out of my dorm, the second time today, and about halfway to the girls' dorm rooms I stopped to get something to eat. Getting something to eat was probably the best idea, as it was caffeine and sugar in a liquid form. Just what I needed. My napping time that was always reserved for just that, napping was disappearing because of that monster.

While in the lineup for my caffeine and sugar, I knocked into Dr. Dillamond, who is the crabbiest goat when it came to awesome people like me. He almost never was on the same brain wave as me, and if he was something was wrong with him. So this just made my day more exciting and more time consuming.

"hello there Mr. Tiggular. Have I told you how well your studies have increased? You actually are proving that you have some IQ points." Crabby old goat. Insult my mind.

"lovely, but Dr. Dillamond, do you know where Elphaba is?" I hoped he knew. He was smart, wasn't he?

"you are doing so well in your work I would think you are cheating if it wasn't that when I asked for an essay you wrote it yourself and no one's was just like yours." See what I mean? The stupid old goat can't catch onto a brain wave, never the less produce one so that you can communicate with him. Deeming that those efforts were useless, I grabbed my caffeine and ran over to Galinda's dorm.

Huffing and puffing, with really hot tea down the front of my shirt, I made it to the dorms just in time. Galinda was still deciding on what to wear so I could get something coherent out of her. She was having a problem choosing a pair of shoes that went with her sparkly, pink dress. It was something else; trust me, because it looked like she had made it herself. I mean, it was quite attractive, and if I was a girl, I would wear it, but never the less.

"Galinda, yes dear those shoes do go well, do you know where Elphaba is?" I finally managed to be able to squeak out. Her head bopped up and her eyes suddenly were awake. You couldn't tell how long she took at the mirror with her make up kit. She did a really good job sometimes too.

"Oh, Elphie? She was running out of here when I brought out my makeup bag, stating that I was going to get her ready for the party tonight, that you should be napping for. She ran in your dorm room's general direction, and she didn't take her book bag so she isn't in the library. So if I had to guess, she would be hiding in a corner outside of your dorm, or Oz forbid in it." Sighing, I went back to my dorm room with a flashlight, after thanking Galinda of course, and giving her a kiss. Maybe tonight I would make her mascara smear and tell her I didn't love her any more. If I had the courage, brain, and heart to.

Once back in my dorm room, I took the flash light and shone it under my bed. Just as Galinda kind of predicted, the monster was Elphaba, fast asleep with a book and a flashlight under my bed, fully clothed. I wouldn't blame her for choosing to hide under my bed, but it was so unexpected. With whatever courage I had left, I poked her square on the nose. She wiggled a little bit.

"Sod off." She said a little sleepy. "no, yes, maybe Fiyero. Stupid person." She must have been having a really vivid dream. I wasn't about to wake her until Boq ran in screaming again. He must have left in order to find something to eat. This scream was so ear piercingly loud that Elphaba had woken up from her rather deep slumber. Her head thumped up on the top of the bed, and you could hear her use words that were usually not heard from when you thought of Elphaba. Then again, I didn't put it past her for knowing so many bad words.

"sorry. Didn't know you were busy-"Boq started to apologize when Elphaba had dragged herself out from under the bed.

"look, I don't mean to get mean but Fiyero and I were doing nothing. I was hiding from Galinda and if you don't go into the café with a roll of duct tape that isn't my problem. Now go put on some pants." Boq looked down embarrassed. I was laughing softly to myself. I stopped laughing when she turned to me.

"now listen, don't take any of this to heart, but since I am in such a bad mood I think I will just ruin my life thoroughly. I think I might actually like you. Happy now? I hope so. On second thought, don't tell Galinda I said that. I don't want to die!" and Elphaba was hiding under my bed once again. Was she high? Or was her dream pretty darn close to reality. Maybe it was from that game of truth or dare Galinda, Elphie, Avaric, Boq, Nessa and I played a few nights ago. I think some of Galinda's friends came to the game, but didn't play. They were utter humbugs.

Hearing that come from Elphaba's mouth was probably the best thing that had happened. Sitting on top of my bed I scribbled a note down and put it on top of her book under the bed, and then out loud I said;

"I think I might actually love you too, Fae."

Liir closed his father's diary. He had found this book in the closet of his parent's bed room, in a box at the very bottom. He found it quite interesting. Who were these people, and was it back in Shiz just before all the wicked witches and politics happened? His parents always stayed up and discussed this stuff. He just might never know. Just then his parents walked in and he showed them the entry from his dad's diary. They both got a good laugh, and then they had an emotional breakdown, and then they started laughing again. How he ended up with the crazy parents he didn't know.


End file.
